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Tonight could go down in trash tv history with three of the trashiest shows imaginable all hitting the airwaves. Lucky for you, you have Trashwire to recap all the train-wreck mayhem. Think of this as a triple serving of Trashwire’s special reality tv coverage.

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Let’s kick things off with the Flavor of Love 3 reunion show.

They did things a little differently by starting the show with comedian Samore doing a short little roast of Flav. Then she asked a couple of the girls some questions. Ice was first and talked about how she was totally repulsed by Flav and thought he was super unattractive. She then said that being on the show has done a lot for her career, and went on to clarify what she meant by saying that she gets really good tips at Hooters now. Wow, what a career! Didn’t she claim to be a radio personality when she was still in the competition?

After the first commercial break, host Lala let Flav take the floor as he debuted his newly shorn head. He looks kind of like a black version of the fake old man from the Six Flags commercials.

We moved on to my favorite Flavorette, Shy. She combines all the loudness of New York, the ghetto behavior of Saaphyri, and the unattractiveness of a crack head tranny whore. She came on with a sob story about how embarrassed she was to be known as the girl with stinky breath. C’mon, Shy! It can’t be worse that that girl who shit on the stairs!

Next, they prepared a video vignette about Hotlanta, who they branded as a total alcoholic. Yawn! Drunk broads acting crazy and embarrassing themselves and their families on reality shows are nothing new. Of course, there were more tears during that segment.

They began the next segment with “What do you get when you mix a forehead and alcohol?” Obviously, they were going to be talking to Sinceer, that hideous giant-foreheaded skank. A new weave and a boob job doesn’t change the fact that she’s repulsive, and an alcoholic to boot. Yawn again!

Sinceer got into a fight with Bunz about yelling “That’s why your momma’s dead” to her during an argument. When asked how she felt about Sinceer saying that, Bunz responded, “Fuck you and four motherfuckers that look like you!” which was one of the most amusing quotes of the night. Again, there were tears when Sinceer complained about how hard it was to be on the show because she really loved Flav.

After another commercial break, they started showing the clashes between Sinceer and Seezinz. Then each girl sat on the couch and had tea and enjoyed conversation about foreign policy. No, just kidding. They screamed bitchy insults at each other and threatened to beat each other’s asses.

After what felt like an eternity, we got down to talking about the final two girls. Black was up first and she continued to keep up her ridiculous blaccent through out her interview. She was dressed like she was going right from the show to the Rock of Love auditions, but of all the girls, she’s probably the least horrifying to look at. Her segment was mere seconds long and we headed right into the final section of the show.

The winner of the show, Thing 2, took the stage after some video clips of her time in the competition. She looked a lot better without those bangs she and her twin sister were sporting during the season.

The big shocker of the show was when Flav revealed that one of his girlfriends was pregnant when he began the first Flavor of Love and basically dumped Thing 2 on the air to spend more time with his son Karma’s mother.

There was another huge twist when Flav proposed to his baby mama right there on the reunion show.

It looks like that’s a wrap on the Flavor Flav love universe. Thank God!

Regardless it was down to Black and Thing 2. After each girl got her final date, Flav picked Thing 2.

Whitney Thomson became the first plus-sized winner of “America’s Next Top Model” last night. It was pretty obvious. TyTy planned this shit from the beginning. She hatched out this plan over a steak dinner at “Houston’s.” Seriously, TyTy mentioned Houston’s last night and it got me excited for some reason.

Rich from FourFour has some interesting info on how Whitney got on the show. A source told him that Whitney never auditioned for the show. She was approached by someone from the show. That’s nothing new. I think many of the show’s skanks were approached instead of auditioning for the show.

The source said at the time, Whitney was already modeling as a size 2 or 4. The person from the show told her size 4 was a little too big to compete as a regular model on the show. They told her if she gained around 10-20 pounds they would put her on the show as a plus-sized model. FourFour has some pictures of a much skinnier Whitney. Through the entire season, Whitney cried about how hard it was for her growing up fat or whatever.

Whitney, who is a size 8 or 10, talked to People about how she’s embraced her curves, “Right before I left for the show, one of my best friends said to me, ‘You’re not going to go that far. You’re fat. Every week I would remember her saying that. And every week I was like, ‘In your face!’”

Yes, size 8 is considered “full-figured.”

Anyway, I’m glad Anna Nicole Whitney won.

I wouldn’t be surprised. With all the fuss Tyra et al. made over her being the first real size winner, the whole thing felt like a set up from the gate.

And for the record, Whitney does look a LOT like Anna Nicole.

On tonight’s finale episode of America’s Next Top Model, Fatima was eliminated early on, leaving Whitney and Anya to walk the runway in the final competition.

This is one of the first years when I’ve liked both girls in the final two. I think Anya deserves to win because she takes amazing couture photos and she has kept such a positive and friendly attitude throughout the entire competition. Whitney also deserves it because she’s been really competitive, but civil to everyone in the house, not to mention she’d be the first plus size model to win the show.
In this year’s final runway, the girls worked it in some gorgeous Versace gowns.

The judges deliberated and Whitney was crown the winner. This marks the first time a plus size model has won the competition.