Trashwire.com has been growing by leaps and bounds over the past couple months and I haven’t had enough time to develop TheTVGeek to its full potential.

So, I’m looking for contributors.

If you watched every episode of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! and have been dying to put in your two cents about the Sanjaya/Holly relationship… if you already set your Tivo to record The T.O. Show on VH1… if you managed to watch Jesse’s return to the Big Brother house without puking… then you might be just the person I’m looking for.

Just use the contact form to shoot me an email and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. If you’d prefer, you can also hit me up via Twitter (@trashwire) and let me know what you’re interested in contributing from updates to commentary to video parodies.

Right now, I’m at the part where Melissa popped her breast implant and then got on the phone with her boyfriend to talk about Bret’s fake hair.

Oh snap!

Of course, the other girls ran to Bret to tell him about this little incident and he didn’t take kindly to a girl pointing out his obvious washed-up, middle-aged style choices. Pretty funny that any of these bleached plastic hos would make fun of someone else for being synthetic…. especially the person whose “love” they’re competing for on a tv show.

Melissa denied it, but defended herself by saying she was frustrated that Bret hasn’t paid attention to her.

Bret acknowledged that he wears “the finest quality extensions that Europe had to offer” before telling Melissa to get the fuck out.

By the end, he also cut Brittany (or “Brittaney” as I think she spells it)

It sucks that the keep booting the crazy girls because that type of thing is what makes this a great trashy show. We need drunk ckicks doing shots out of eachother’s vajayjays psycho obsessive former porn filmmakers having bipolar episodes, and chicks popping implants and talking shit. That’s what makes this Rock of Love.

I also like that this season already has a rising injury tally…. and I can’t wait to see how they handle the well-publicized car crash that killed two people.

I know Trashwire always has much love for My Chemical Romance, but after reading lead singer Gerard Way’s review of The Pick Up Artist 2, you’ll understand why I’ve become totally addicted to the revamped My Chemical Romance blog (RSS) and twitter posts.

For more like this, check out mychemicalromance.com.

“You ARE the Pick Up Artist.”

I gotta admit, I got the chills when I heard Mystery say that in last night’s season finale of The Pickup Artist 2.

I don’t even know how I started watching this show it’s first season. I think it may have had to do with the fact I was hooked on Rock Of Love and they would play this afterwards. I think that’s a very old method that networks use called “piggy-backing”, and would explain why shows like “How I met Your Mother” or “My Fair Brady” even make it to their 2nd seasons.

But this show is quality.

And even more interesting than the contestants, challenges, and the orange spray-tan club goers of Scottsdale, Arizona (of COURSE this is where the show is filmed) is Mystery’s wardrobe.

This is a man that knows how to take RISKS.
Mind you, these aren’t risks that I would ever take but you gotta respect a guy thats Ren-Faire from the neck down and fighter-pilot meets X-Games roadie from the neck up. With Gladiator boots.

And can we talk about how likable this guy is?
This is a man that eats his own cereal in the morning if you know what I’m saying.

I felt that Simeon was a strong contender after the last few episodes, having clearly built up a momentum, and adopting a straw cowboy hat seemed to make a big difference. Did he win that in a reward challenge from Mystery? Like some sort of +5 Holy Avenger? (You PUA2 contestants know EXACTLY what I’m talking about)
I also felt Matt was a strong player as well, but I felt they both should have been penalized for their continued use of the same openers in the finale.

I would also like to point out that Matt’s best friend, Chuck, on the previous episode, was not only totally fucking awesome, but also a really amazing comic book artist, who does a book Black Metal for Oni Press. I actually met Matt at the Eisners, as he was friends with Gabriel and had also taken home an Eisner for his comic. I found it interesting they made no mention of him being a comic artist in the episode, but I assumed Mystery felt this would have only hurt his chances in the club, although I feel “Hey I draw comics” is a much better opener than “My friends and I just completed a caper”. But what do I know about this stuff?

One of the reasons I like this show is the fact that it is the least competitive reality show on television. There is no drama, just dudes having each other’s back, and they are genuinely sad when one of their competitors gets the axe. This is an emotional, life-changing journey for these dudes.

The same cannot be said of Rock Of Love: Charm School or Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. Lots of claws flying around.
Charm School had it’s worst episode yet last night, but then again how do you follow an episode where the ladies have degenerated to spitting and plate throwing, drunk the whole time (suprise!). And I back Sharon Osborne, she is fun to watch, but the sock puppet thing didn’t hold me.

Paris Hilton’s New BFF we stopped watching after Kaylee got booted. That girl knew how to party, dress, live life, be fabulous. We think she would have made an excellent BFF. What’s that leave? Bikini Corey? Please…

Some of you may be asking yourselves, “Does reality T.V. make you dumber?”
My answer to this is “Absolutely, yes”.

But I figured I should be okay for a little wile…

xo
G

Re-posted from mychemicalromance.com. Check out the twitter pages for Gerard Way, Bob Bryar, Ray Toro, Mikey Way, and Frank Iero.

Yes, this new season brings us another cadre of dysfunctional celebrities trying to get sober, or rather, to get more screen time. The patient list includes Busey, King, model/actress Amber Smith, former American Idol contestant Nicki McKibbin, celeb spawn Sean Stewart, former hood ornament Tawny Kitaen, drummer Steven Adler and even an encore performance from everyone’s favorite bumbling train wreck, Jeff Conaway….

Read more | Digg it

This should come as no surprise!

Brett Michaels and that chick who won Rock Of Love 2 have broken up.

And, as that news “breaks”, Vh1 has announced that it is bringing the reality show back for a 3rd season.

At this point, does anybody still care????

Tonight could go down in trash tv history with three of the trashiest shows imaginable all hitting the airwaves. Lucky for you, you have Trashwire to recap all the train-wreck mayhem. Think of this as a triple serving of Trashwire’s special reality tv coverage.

read more | digg story

White Oprah also began her show by talking about how she’s a single parent. When will Hollywood shut the hell up about being single parents? Guess what, my mom was a single parent and I certainly didn’t have celebrity money, but I survived!

Just like with Denise Richards’ show, Dina flipped through the tabloids talking about how the press is so psycho over her family. It must be part of the E! formula to try to justify the fame level of their reality subjects to try to convince us that they’re worthy of their own series.

This entire show is clearly a vehicle to launch the career of Ali, Lindsay’s younger sister. Unfortunately, Ali isn’t as wild, talented, or interesting as her sister and her mother will seemingly battle her to the death for the spotlight.

The basis for the first episode was Ali’s music career. After receiving some tracks from her label, Ali was displeased and wanted to move in a different creative direction. Enter Dina’s associate Jeremy, a hip hop producer (I guess) who brought her some new “urban” songs that she loved.

Of course, Dina can’t stand not being the center of attention for too long and before you could say “disaster” we had switched focus to Dina battling to clear Lindsay’s name once again. You know, for as much as she claims to hate the tabloids, she sue does devote a shit load of attention to talking about them on her show.

The whole series borders on disturbing and you can’t help but feel dirty when watching it. When Ali explains that Lindsay is her biggest role model, you feel like you’re watching some kind of creepy exploitative kiddie porn. Take a scene where Dina is looking up a story about an alleged Lindsay Lohan sex tape on the internet. The story is complete with a still from the video of Lindsay going down on a guy. When Ali enters the room, Dina shows her the picture and they both remark that it can’t be Lindsay and talk about suing the site. Does anyone besides me think it’s weird that Dina showed her daughter a picture of Lindsay blowing a guy (allegedly)? I don’t think even Michael Jackson is THAT bad of a parent!

In a way, it’s fantastically trashy and fun to watch something this absolutely insane, but at the same time, I’m not sure if even we at Trashwire should be condoning this type of train-wreck series.

It’s a lot like eavesdropping on child abuse. Like when you can hear a neighbor beating their children, so you call the cops and then put your ear to the wall to hear what happens.

It seems like the premise of the show is going to be Denise Richards trying to find love as a single mom actress in LA. Instead, it looked like the same scripted trash-fest masquerading as reality that you see on every other celebreality series on the planet.

In the first episode, we met Denise’s family and her two assistants. All her attempts to seem like a down to earth celeb were pretty much ruined when she was a rude barking diva to everyone within range of her. She’s either going for an Osbournes style “foul-mouthed but funny” vibe or she’s just a total bitch who likes to cuss people out.

What a surprise, she even had a segment where she and her assistants sat around a computer talking about all the Denise Richards celebrity gossip on the net. I think she’s overestimating her own celebrity, because Denise Richards isn’t really in anyone’s thoughts as much as she thinks she is. We have Britney Spears to gossip about, not some chick who used to be married to Charlie Sheen and was famous because she took her top off and made out with a chick in a movie ten years ago!

In another painfully set up running theme, Denise is set up on a blind date by her best friend. This is all intercut with a b-plot about Denise trying to find sperm to get her pet pig pregnant. I’m not quite sure what connection the producers were trying to get us to make there.

On her date, Denise coldly stares down the guy and snippily replies to his questions about her personal life. Then when he says he liked Matt Dillion’s acting instead of fawning over her lesbo scene in Wild Things she gets insulted and accuses him of being gay.

It feels like this Denise is trying to gear this whole production towards being some kind of career vehicle for her, but she can’t really decide what kind of character she wants to make herself. Is she a struggling single mom? A family woman who bonds with her recently widowed father? A sexpot looking for a “hot guy with a big dick”? An animal lover and pig breeder? What are we supposed to take from this?

The best reality shows are either those like Big Brother that offer genuinely real human behavior or more scripted programs with clear cut characters and plots. Denise Richards: It’s Complicated seems to be neither.

I’m just not sure if this series is actually watchable. I’d compare it to Keeping Up with the Karsahians in that it’s just so scripted and cheesy that it’s not even worthy of the title of reality tv.

Let’s kick things off with the Flavor of Love 3 reunion show.

They did things a little differently by starting the show with comedian Samore doing a short little roast of Flav. Then she asked a couple of the girls some questions. Ice was first and talked about how she was totally repulsed by Flav and thought he was super unattractive. She then said that being on the show has done a lot for her career, and went on to clarify what she meant by saying that she gets really good tips at Hooters now. Wow, what a career! Didn’t she claim to be a radio personality when she was still in the competition?

After the first commercial break, host Lala let Flav take the floor as he debuted his newly shorn head. He looks kind of like a black version of the fake old man from the Six Flags commercials.

We moved on to my favorite Flavorette, Shy. She combines all the loudness of New York, the ghetto behavior of Saaphyri, and the unattractiveness of a crack head tranny whore. She came on with a sob story about how embarrassed she was to be known as the girl with stinky breath. C’mon, Shy! It can’t be worse that that girl who shit on the stairs!

Next, they prepared a video vignette about Hotlanta, who they branded as a total alcoholic. Yawn! Drunk broads acting crazy and embarrassing themselves and their families on reality shows are nothing new. Of course, there were more tears during that segment.

They began the next segment with “What do you get when you mix a forehead and alcohol?” Obviously, they were going to be talking to Sinceer, that hideous giant-foreheaded skank. A new weave and a boob job doesn’t change the fact that she’s repulsive, and an alcoholic to boot. Yawn again!

Sinceer got into a fight with Bunz about yelling “That’s why your momma’s dead” to her during an argument. When asked how she felt about Sinceer saying that, Bunz responded, “Fuck you and four motherfuckers that look like you!” which was one of the most amusing quotes of the night. Again, there were tears when Sinceer complained about how hard it was to be on the show because she really loved Flav.

After another commercial break, they started showing the clashes between Sinceer and Seezinz. Then each girl sat on the couch and had tea and enjoyed conversation about foreign policy. No, just kidding. They screamed bitchy insults at each other and threatened to beat each other’s asses.

After what felt like an eternity, we got down to talking about the final two girls. Black was up first and she continued to keep up her ridiculous blaccent through out her interview. She was dressed like she was going right from the show to the Rock of Love auditions, but of all the girls, she’s probably the least horrifying to look at. Her segment was mere seconds long and we headed right into the final section of the show.

The winner of the show, Thing 2, took the stage after some video clips of her time in the competition. She looked a lot better without those bangs she and her twin sister were sporting during the season.

The big shocker of the show was when Flav revealed that one of his girlfriends was pregnant when he began the first Flavor of Love and basically dumped Thing 2 on the air to spend more time with his son Karma’s mother.

There was another huge twist when Flav proposed to his baby mama right there on the reunion show.

It looks like that’s a wrap on the Flavor Flav love universe. Thank God!